We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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