What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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