Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
