My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
