how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
