More tranny stories later!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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