our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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