About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
