found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
