Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
