I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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