I'm going to jail i love you
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He shit in the fireplace
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
