I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
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I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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