i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize