what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
