Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
