id be glad to
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
