if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
