Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All the doctor said was why
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
