hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
