i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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