Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
