so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
