he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just had sex on a roof
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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