Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
