Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
