no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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