so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
