hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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