Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
