i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
