Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
