So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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