i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
