areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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