What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
