Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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