Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
