the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
