No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
NoShamevember. You game?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
