He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
