i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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