Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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