You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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