Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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