Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
