whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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