thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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