I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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