mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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