Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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