maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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