i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
