i would punch a child for taco bell
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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