She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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