btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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