Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
