Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
