her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
