i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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