I'm going to jail i love you
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm bleeding and have questions
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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