Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize