I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
