omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize