we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
50% drunk capacity currently
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
