Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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