she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
