It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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