he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Randomize
